Celery. Those myths that it burns calories? It does. Cool, right? I always thought so. I still don't like it, (except with my chicken wings) but here I am, drinking this. And then, there's Kale. I don't like that leafy green either. It has a bitter taste that I can't stand. And, you already know how I feel about coconut water. I mean, people! Celery, Kale, and Coconut, in the same bottle? Come on. America has taken health food too far. Go eat a Twinkie or two while I suffer through this one. (And yes, I support the Oxford comma.)
Color: It looks like split pea soup. Or toxic waste. Maybe I'll get superpowers! But really, this is only delaying the inevitable. We all know this will suck.
Smell: God awful. God awful. It smells exactly like what it is. And mixed with pepper. So, it is essentially liquid salad. Enjoy that thought, folks.
I'm so scared guys. Here goes nothing.
Taste: Oh god. It tastes like exactly what it's made of. Celery, Kale, and Coconut water. I took one sip and will not be taking another, for health reasons. It tastes peppery, and veggie-y. Really folks, it's just awful. Who thought this was a good idea? Who? OH GOD WHY IT IS SO FREAKING BAD!!! Even hippies that are obsessed with health and the benefits of veggies will hate this. Never buy this, ever.
Rating: *
The sadists at Columbia Gorge should be subjected to chugging a gallon of this. 'Nuff said. Excuse me while I sprint for an Arnold Palmer to clear this out of my system.
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