MetroMint Chocolatemint

Even though Ice Cream isn't really considered a distinctly "American" food the way hot dogs and apple pie are, it's still an awfully popular item here. Think about it: there's ice cream itself, ice cream cakes, ice cream flavored cereal, ice cream flavored coffee, ice cream flavored gum... you see my point. Perhaps the latest addition to this lineup came earlier this month, when Dunkin' Donuts and Baskin Robbins teamed up to release a new set of iced coffee flavors, in classic ice cream flavors such as Butter Pecan and Cookie Dough. Now, even though I'm convinced that stores like Dunkin' and Starbucks are making coffee more and more of a dessert every day, (who needs to add sugar to the cup that already has caramel syrup and whipped cream?), I think it's acceptable for these flavors to be mixed with coffee. After all, coffee is more or less an optional beverage. You don't need it to survive.

Water is different. Now, you know my stance on reviewing water, (I don't like doing it), but this seemed like an exception to that rule. I'm all for the increased consumption of water, but I have to question the necessity of flavoring water like it's an ice cream. This is the stuff our bodies run on, so who thought to flavor it as though it should be served in a waffle cone? Could it be good? Absolutely. Does that make it a good idea? Absolutely not. Here we go.

Color: It's water. Take a guess.

Smell: Not what I expected. Frankly, I didn't expect anything at all. However, it really does smell like Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. For a drink without anything artificial in it, this is rather impressive. It's a really pleasant smell, but I'm not sure how it will fare as a full on flavor.

Taste: This will surely be difficult to verbalize. They say that most of your sense of taste comes from your sense of smell, which is certainly the idea at work in this one. Most of the "flavor" of the beverage comes from the smell as you are about to drink it. As far as its actual taste goes, it's mostly just the flavor of water (if that even exists). However, the flavors themselves do kick in right as you swallow the drink, as the mint flavor becomes rather noticeable and actually quite refreshing. The chocolate flavor, which actually is very natural tasting and not at all artificial (real cocoa here), is quite light, but it helps to accent the stronger mint flavor as well. Of course, the chocolate flavor couldn't be that intense due to the lack of any sweeteners in the drink, but I still found it acceptable. Could the flavors have been a little stronger? Certainly, but overall, they made a rather pleasant water.

Rating: ****

It's certainly different. If you don't like soda but still want flavor, it should be perfect. If you want to pretend that you're eating ice cream even though you know you're lactose-intolerant, that's good too. If you want to be condescending to your friends because they aren't refined enough to appreciate the super-light flavors of this drink, power to you. Just don't expect me to drink this over actual water. Because IceCreamogen has no place on the periodic table.

Aquarius

When you think about it, it's amazing how much marketing occurs right on the bottle of your favorite beverage, from Alkaline Fulvic Trace Mineral Infused to Iced Bhakti Chai Coffee Blend. Clearly, marketers here in the States are really concerned that you know exactly what your beverage will taste like before you ever drink it. Names are never sleek and streamlined, no, we're stuck with GT's Enlightened Organic Raw Kombucha Multigreen instead. That's why this beverage, Aquarius (which is actually from Spain), is so interesting. The title explains nothing. The color explains nothing. The Catalan on the back that I can't read explains nothing. So what are we drinking here? Well, fortunately, the back panel does have some Spanish included on it, a language that I actually can comprehend. Turns out, it's a sports drink, made to complement athletes performance on the field. Who knows, maybe I'll turn into Messi after trying this! Yeah, I better just stick to beverage reviews.

Color: Cloudy but still translucent. There's certainly no color added, and I would imagine the cloudiness is just from those minerals the back panel mentioned. At least we won't be able to qualify the drink's flavor by it's color. (Hello, Gatorade? Cool Blue is not a flavor.)

Smell: Citrus. Perhaps not so much like a Lysol lemony fresh citrus, but more like a Sprite mixed with some tangerine citrus. Yes, it's good to know that I'm not about to drink disinfectant.

Taste: Tastes exactly like what it smells like: Citrus. However, unlike Gatorade, which is often so swamped with sugar that the fruit flavor (or blue flavor, it's still not a flavor) becomes totally irrelevant, this actually isn't all that sweet. The citrus flavor is light, and the whole drink is light, but the fruit really is prevalent. It's a well balanced drink overall, with just enough flavor to be enjoyable yet not overpowering.

Rating: ****

Even though the flavor isn't super strong and exciting, the light, refreshing flavor of Aquarius make it seem like the perfect drink during an athletic competition. I'd certainly drink it over Gatorade, if we had any of it here in the US. I wish I had saved some for my next basketball game, so I could channel my inner Pau Gasol!

Iced Bhakti Chai Coffee Blend

Ever since Starbucks released the bottled Frappucinos about 6 or 7 years ago, I've loved to mock the coffee world, as I don't drink it, and those things are always like 5 dollars for a 16 ounce bottle! It's pretty crazy what Starbucks gets away with, but the caffeinated masses pay what they want, I guess. This being said, I don't know what attracted me to this at Whole Foods. Could it be the numerous blurbs on the front of the bottle each with a different description of the drink? Because with all of them put together, this is apparently "Fresh-Pressed Bhakti Black Chai Tea with Cold-Brewed Coffee, Fresh-Pressed Ginger, and Fiery Spices". Something tells me that's too big to put in 72 point font anyway, so they just went with Bhakti Chai. In a nutshell, this is a coffee and Chai tea blend, which sounds pretty good. Oh, and on the back, the bottle says "Bhakti means devotion through social action". The perfect tagline to get eye-level shelf real estate at Whole Foods. I actually am looking forward to this one though, so let's see how it goes.

Color: It's a creamy coffee color, again, just like those bottled Frappucinos and other chilled coffee drinks you can find anywhere. If you haven't seen those before, it looks just like melted coffee ice cream.

Smell: It's actually a really nice scent, with both the bitter earthiness of the coffee and the spices of the Chai tea present and easily identifiable. If it tastes as good as it smells, we could be on to something here.

Taste: Easily the most complex and deep flavored drink I've reviewed in a long time. When it first hits your tongue, it's nearly too herbal, like the cardamom flavors of chai tea. It's almost a burning sensation for your nose, which isn't particularly inviting, but it gets neutralized rather quickly by the creamy and rich coffee flavor. Props to Bhakti for making a drink with two bitter flavors from being really sharp and uninviting without making it taste saccharin-sweet, instead, it has just enough sugar to keep the flavors balanced. I haven't even mentioned the hot spices that come after the coffee yet, either. As the coffee flavor fades away, it has a spicy and hot aftertaste almost like that of Cayenne chili powder, which is really cool. Triple-flavor drinks are good for me!

Rating:****

What kept it from 5 stars? It was just that super intense herb aroma and flavor that came off right as I first tasted it. It just started off a good, deep drink rather poorly, but fortunately, the coffee and chili flavors redeemed the drink before I could write a bad review. This will be a tough drink to find on the shelf, but if you see it, give it a shot. It's not bad, and certainly a very interesting drink. Two reviews in one day! Looks like I'll have to go replenish the drink supply.