Iced Bhakti Chai Coffee Blend

Ever since Starbucks released the bottled Frappucinos about 6 or 7 years ago, I've loved to mock the coffee world, as I don't drink it, and those things are always like 5 dollars for a 16 ounce bottle! It's pretty crazy what Starbucks gets away with, but the caffeinated masses pay what they want, I guess. This being said, I don't know what attracted me to this at Whole Foods. Could it be the numerous blurbs on the front of the bottle each with a different description of the drink? Because with all of them put together, this is apparently "Fresh-Pressed Bhakti Black Chai Tea with Cold-Brewed Coffee, Fresh-Pressed Ginger, and Fiery Spices". Something tells me that's too big to put in 72 point font anyway, so they just went with Bhakti Chai. In a nutshell, this is a coffee and Chai tea blend, which sounds pretty good. Oh, and on the back, the bottle says "Bhakti means devotion through social action". The perfect tagline to get eye-level shelf real estate at Whole Foods. I actually am looking forward to this one though, so let's see how it goes.

Color: It's a creamy coffee color, again, just like those bottled Frappucinos and other chilled coffee drinks you can find anywhere. If you haven't seen those before, it looks just like melted coffee ice cream.

Smell: It's actually a really nice scent, with both the bitter earthiness of the coffee and the spices of the Chai tea present and easily identifiable. If it tastes as good as it smells, we could be on to something here.

Taste: Easily the most complex and deep flavored drink I've reviewed in a long time. When it first hits your tongue, it's nearly too herbal, like the cardamom flavors of chai tea. It's almost a burning sensation for your nose, which isn't particularly inviting, but it gets neutralized rather quickly by the creamy and rich coffee flavor. Props to Bhakti for making a drink with two bitter flavors from being really sharp and uninviting without making it taste saccharin-sweet, instead, it has just enough sugar to keep the flavors balanced. I haven't even mentioned the hot spices that come after the coffee yet, either. As the coffee flavor fades away, it has a spicy and hot aftertaste almost like that of Cayenne chili powder, which is really cool. Triple-flavor drinks are good for me!

Rating:****

What kept it from 5 stars? It was just that super intense herb aroma and flavor that came off right as I first tasted it. It just started off a good, deep drink rather poorly, but fortunately, the coffee and chili flavors redeemed the drink before I could write a bad review. This will be a tough drink to find on the shelf, but if you see it, give it a shot. It's not bad, and certainly a very interesting drink. Two reviews in one day! Looks like I'll have to go replenish the drink supply.

Victoria's Kitchen Sweet Almond Water

Flavored water is a really good thing. Generally, it's low or no-calorie, pretty easy to find in a vending machine or convenience store (read: not Whole Foods), and certainly a good alternative to unhealthy sodas (those darn carbonated beverages!). Even more, the spectrum of flavored waters is pretty broad.  Over my years (all 15 of them), I've probably seen no less than 15 flavors of flavored waters. Strawberry, Raspberry, Blueberry, Mixed Berry, Citrus, Mango... Hopefully you've noticed a trend. They're all fruits. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Almond Water, Aquafina FlavorBlast's high-society, wealthy step-uncle (who came from Whole Foods). And this one isn't exactly no-calorie either, with 110 per bottle. Almonds are not fruits (although they're a close relative to the peach), they're nuts. That being said, I'm not too afraid of this one, primarily because it doesn't actually have the solid nuts in it, but just "natural almond flavors," as the third ingredient behind water and Pure Cane Sugar (which is why it was at Whole Foods). So, I guess it's just sweet water and Almond Extract? Sounds like an interesting drink around the holidays. We'll see how it goes.

Color: A turbid, cloudy beige. Kind of like a dissolved Alka-Seltzer, or maybe like a Jones Cream Soda. Although, if you've seen the new White Cherry PowerAde floating around, it looks pretty similar to that too. 

Smell: Definitely not what I expected. It has a smell, but it's definitely not Almond. Actually, I smelled it and immediately thought of artificial cherry, like a cherry slushy or cherry water ice (sorry again for my Mid-Atlantic region comparisons). Not a bad aroma by any means, but isn't this an almond drink?

Taste: It's very light, and not as sweet as I would expect from a drink with real sugar as a main ingredient. That being said, it is branded as a water beverage, so it makes sense that it would be a somewhat thin flavor. As for the Almond flavor, I can't honestly say I taste a distinct Almond flavor. In fact, the flavor (to me) tastes exactly like that artificial cherry that I smelled originally. It's not exactly a strong flavor either, which leaves me unsatisfied with the drink as a whole. To me, almonds have an earthy, almost creamy flavor, and the drink really doesn't capture that at all. Instead, I just get an almost floral flavor alongside sugar water. Kind of like an air freshener. Mmmm, bottled Febreze.

Rating: ***

This one falls into the pit of mediocrity, unfortunately. It's a shame too; I really wanted to like this one. At the end of the day though, if you are going to revolutionize the flavored water business, you've got to come through with the flavor (preferably one other than artificial cherry). That being said, maybe I just have a confused pallete. I definitely think this is one to try for yourself, as you might perceive the flavor differently than I did. It's certainly light and refreshing, and I could see it being really good on a hot summer day, or mixed with something else, but alone? Just not enough flavor to do it for me.
Onward!

Calypso Black Cherry Lemonade

Here's a drink. It doesn't have live bacteria in it, has nearly no vitamins, doesn't make any health claims, and says nowhere on the bottle that anything in it is organic. It only has 10 percent juice, even though it's lemonade. And it has 300 calories a bottle. Frankly, I am looking forward to it more than the last few beverages I've reviewed anyway. Because finally, it's a drink that isn't supposed to "change the way you look at beverages". It's just a drink that looks good, and doesn't try to be anything else. The closest thing to a health benefit on the label is that it has "real lemon bits". Sometimes, Yerba Mate and Fulvic Trace Water  just can't compare to cane sugar and black cherry concentrate. Needless to say, they don't sell this at Whole Foods. Finally, something that will taste good!

Color: It looks like watered down pomegranate juice. This is one of those drinks where the color in the picture above is identical to the color of the actual drink. After all, the bottle isn't colored. It's just thick glass.

Smell: It smells very cherry-y.  Like a fresh jar of maraschino cherries. No lemon smell at all. If you've ever had Dr. Brown's Black Cherry Soda, it smells just like that. Or, if you are reading this in the Mid-Atlantic USA, it smells just like Rita's black cherry water ice.

Taste: It's a really good flavor, I'm just not particularly sure what that flavor actually is. Don't get me wrong, it is great. I guess, the best way to describe it would be as though it was Pacific Cooler Capri-Sun mixed with lemonade. But what's great is that neither flavor overpowers the other. The black cherry is definitely there, but you also get the tartness of the lemon as well. In fact, that's what makes the drink to me, the tart and sour lemon. After all, this is lemonade. It isn't right for lemonade to not be sour at all. (Yeah, I'm talking to you, 2nd graders with lemonade stands.) So overall, it tastes like what it says it is. Black cherry, and lemon. Thank god, there are no veggies or bacteria in this one. The only problem is that I was really looking forward to those lemon bits, and it was really just some lemon pulp remnants. But that's a pretty minor complaint.

Rating: ****

It was definitely interesting, and certainly a great way to counter an 78 degree day. And let's not forget, it wasn't green! How about that? Odds are, you'll have trouble finding this one, but if you spot it on your next grocery trip, pick it up. It's worth trying. Oh, and there's an electric blue flavor too. Bet they don't sell that one at Whole Foods either.

blk. Alkaline Fulvic Trace Mineral Infused Water

So, this is a blog about non-carbonated beverages. (Hope I made that obvious by now.) Traditionally, water is not a beverage. However, judging from the fact that there are five adjectives before the word "water" on the bottle, I think I have permission to review it. (Note that it's still not flavored water.) Now, that doesn't mean I'm particularly excited about it. Fulvic acid comes from plant matter found deep in the earth, and is highly alkaline. I think it's also the stuff that makes up Brita filters as well. So, does that mean it's like a Brita ground into water? Wonderful. The bottle even says this stuff has a pH of 8, which is roughly the same as normal sea water. (Mmm... Atlantic Ocean.)  But more than all of that, I want to make it clear that this is black water. From deep in the earth. Oh, and it's $2.50 for a 16 ounce bottle. You and your outrageous pricing, Whole Foods.

Color: Well, the name of this stuff would tell you it's black. It's not. It is actually a deep, translucent, brown. ( Think soy sauce, or coffee.) Minus points for you, blk. If you are going to call a drink black, it better actually be black.

Smell: When has water ever smelled like anything? The plant matter / fulvic acid / mystery goo doesn't give it an odor. 

Taste: Well, surprisingly enough, this water tastes... kind of like water. (How do I describe the flavor of water? Hydrogen-y? I don't know.) So, it tastes like water, but at the same time, it has this bitter flavor as well. I guess I would describe it as earthy water. It's somewhat metallic, and unlike other waters that say they have minerals, you know this one has minerals. You can taste them. And frankly, that's not a great thing. But I guess if you really feel like you are lacking key minerals, you'd be willing to put up with the taste, which makes me think of tap water in a foreign nation. We all know how that ends up. Honestly, I'm not a big fan. It certainly won't make me stop drinking tap water, or Brita water, or normal bottled water. Sorry, blk. Who told you black water was a good idea?

Rating: ***

Ok, I'll admit, there was no chance I was going to say, "This is the most amazing water ever, we all must ditch the clear stuff and drink this immediately!" Because, frankly, even the best water isn't that different from the worst water. This was really more of a test to see if it was bad. Which it wasn't, it was just a little too mineral-y for me. But if you want attention, I'd imagine walking around and drinking black water isn't a horrible way to do it. Either way, I'm sticking to SmartWater. That's only $2.25 at Whole Foods. What a bargain!