Calypso Ocean Blue Lemonade

OK, before I even begin this review, I'd like to make a point very obvious.

THERE IS ALMOST NOTHING IN NATURE THAT IS BLUE.

Seawater: Clear. Not blue.

Blueberries: Purple. Not blue.

The sky: This is a whole physics argument that, frankly, I don't want to dive into right now. (In short, it's not blue -- kind of.)

With this knowledge, it should become clear that the elusive Blue Raspberry does not exist. (I mean, unless you jacked that thing so full of plutonium that Doc Brown tosses it into the DeLorean). Therefore, I've never really understood why the beverage industry is so obsessed with the idea of Blue Raspberry being a flavor. It never actually tastes like anything, just an extra tablespoon or six of sugar and some Blue #1. Calypso, here's where I call you out. I can't think of one decent plain lemonade drink on the market. It's always mixed with something. What's the deal with the blue dye and Raspberry? Here's what you have to do. 

1. Make a decent (yellow) lemonade. Nothing else. Just lemonade.

2. Allow profits to flow.

I expect my employment offer to arrive by next week. It's fine, I'll wait.

Color: Possibly the most horrifying shade yet. It's the most unnatural, menacing, electric blue possible. Keep this away from shirts, pants, hats, and virtually any other item which you value. The slightest contact with such an item will surely stain it for eternity. Also worth noting are the "Real Lemon Bits" floating around in the glass, which are also stained blue. Lovely.

Smell: Sickeningly sweet, and very strangely reminiscent of plain (not vanilla, just plain) yogurt. Not really sure what that indicates about the taste of the drink, but it reinforces my idea that this thing is actually just a bottle of chemistry lab waste.

Taste: Fortunately, it doesn't taste like yogurt. However, it is about as sweet as I've seen a beverage come. Sure to please anyone under the age of 12, but for most people with some sort of taste sensibility, it just comes off way too sweet to be enjoyable for more than one sip. The added "Blue Raspberry" flavor also throws off the overall direction of the drink, making it taste not quite like lemonade, but not really like anything else either. Essentially, it tastes like straight sugar water. The lemon bits are essentially undetectable. However, I do applaud Calypso again for making a lemonade drink with some tartness, as opposed to even more sugar. A little bit of sour actually goes a fair distance in making the drink more sufferable. 

Rating: **

Look, anything that advertises itself as "Ocean Blue" should immediately concern you. It's just not necessary. Unless you're eight years old, pass this one up for something, perhaps, less aquatic. Really.